One question I hear a lot is why do people cheat? Infidelity in a relationship is incredibly painful and not everyone is able to overcome it. So how do people go from feelings of intense love and sworn commitment to cheating?
The first thing to keep in mind is that cheating is a symptom of the problem. In the midst of dealing with an affair, it's hard not to be preoccupied all the feelings surrounding the unfaithful act. However, the relationship had problems before the cheating happened.
In most cases, the reasons for cheating can be pegged down to one of two things. Either the person who cheated is stressed by the relationship or they feel rejected in the relationship. Now, keep in mind that everyone experiences life from their own perspective, so if the stress or the rejection doesn't seem like a big deal to one partner doesn't mean that the feeling is mutual.
Someone who is stressed by the relationship cheats because they are looking for fun. They're looking for something light where they can just enjoy the sex and the attention. They perceive their relationship to be difficult, unsupported and possibly dull. They love their spouse, but they can separate love and sex.
Someone who is feeling rejected by the relationship cheats because it's a cry for attention. They feel like their needs aren't being met in the relationship, and they have probably tried a lot of things to get that attention. Those things include being demanding, passive aggressive, and possibly being hostile. They feel like they have tried everything to feel loved and they just aren't getting that. So they cheat to get attention in two ways. One, they get attention from the person they're cheating with. And two, they're subconsciously hoping to get caught to elicit some kind of reaction from their partner.
If you're trying to deal with the aftermath of infidelty, you can contact me through the contact page, leave question in the comments or just stay tuned because I plan to explore this topic more in depth.